M I S S I O N S T A T E M E N T

Here at Dahlia & Sage Used Car Emporium (formerly a humble grocery store), our mission is simple: to get YOU behind the wheel of a gently pre-owned beauty—no credit? No problem! We’re talkin’ hot deals, low prices, and a handshake so firm you’ll sign the paperwork before you know what hit ya.

We know times are tough, and that’s why we’re slashing prices like a salad chef on double espresso. Whether you're trading in your clunker or just browsing, we guarantee unbeatable deals on cars, trucks, and maybe even a food truck if the price is right! So come on down, kick some tires, and let’s make a deal today!

Because nothing says "community" like a convertible with a questionable past.

T H E L O T

🚗 CARS, CARS, CARS! 🚗 Dahlia & Sage Used Car Megastore is your one-stop shop for questionably reliable vehicles at rock-bottom prices. Located in the heart of downtown Cloverdale, we’ve got more deals than a discount dollar store—over 700 price slashes every month! No credit? No problem! We do whatever we can to get you behind the wheel today!

💰 TRADE-INS WELCOME! Got an old jalopy? A bike? A shopping cart? We'll consider anything!

🚗 LUXURY MODELS: Tired of boring rides? Our 100% certified (by someone, probably) luxury selection includes cars so fine, you’ll forget they have over 200,000 miles on them!

🌮 FULL SERVICE FOOD TRUCKS: Why stop at a car when you can own a fully-loaded taco truck? Comes with Made-to-Order burritos (if you hire a cook), plus a selection of hot & cold deals, just like our AC systems—sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t!

🦞 FRESH SEAFOOD SECTION: Ever bought shrimp out of a guy’s trunk? No? Well, now’s your chance! We source our seafood exclusively from “a guy we know” near Bodega Bay—guaranteed mostly fresh!

🥩 BUTCHER BLOCK: Not just for cars! Need a steak in something? We got deals so fresh, you'll think twice before asking where they came from! Custom cuts available—just don’t ask who cut ‘em.

🍺 BEER & WINE: Need a little liquid courage before signing on the dotted line? We got a hand-selected (by our intern, Steve) assortment of fine wines, craft beers, and mystery ciders—perfect for celebrating your new purchase or washing down regret.

🍞 BAKERY: What pairs better with a used car than a fresh loaf of bread? We’ve partnered with probably real bakers to bring you the best carbs money can buy—guaranteed to make your morning drive slightly less terrible.

♻️ BULK DEALS: Over 60 different items in bulk—mostly nuts, bolts, and questionable warranties. Buy in bulk, save big, and drive off happier than you should be!

🚗💨 So hurry down to Dahlia & Sage Used Car Emporium, where the deals are hot, the paperwork is loose, and the test drives are optional!